Dance Recital, 2015

I know I haven’t talked about it much since moving my blog to wordpress and changing the name and the focus.  But one of the biggest activities in this house (second only to soccer, maybe) is dance.  Rachel has been taking dance classes for 4 years now (ballet, tap, and this year we added hip hop) and Simon has been taking classes at the same studio for 2 years (also ballet and tap and this year he joined the same hip hop class as Rachel).  I had a very hard time finding a program that would take them, for most local programs refused to get back with me when I mentioned the “A” word.  But (and I know I’ve told this story many times), fortunately for us, my neighbor was just starting a new studio and after a conversation with me, agreed to offer a Special Needs Ballet/Tap combo class on Saturday mornings.  Simon has been in this class the last two years, and Rachel did this her first year (when she was placed in GenEd Kindergarten, we felt that she would do better in a general class, but were prepared to go back should she not succeed).

Much of our focus over the past week has been dance.  The recital was on Tuesday and there were a few things leading up to it.  There were pictures, the dress rehearsal and the performance itself.  This is the first year that we were doing multiple performances (Rachel was in 3 dances, Simon was in 2 [one of which they shared]).  For the first time, I had to deal with costume changes and hair changes behind the scenes (something that I suspect I will become VERY familiar with over the next few years).  It was a bit harried for me, but everyone was always ready on time!

Here is the “playlist” of all 4 routines recorded during the dress rehearsal (not allowed to take pictures of any type during the performance itself).  During the actual recital, Rachel slowed herself down so she wasn’t rushing quite so much (especially in her tap routine) and Simon did pretty much the same thing.  Now, for Simon, you need to understand that last year he refused to go on stage.  Our goal for him this year was to go on stage and make a minimal effort.  As you can see, he surpassed those goals!  I hope it brings a smile to your face, as it always does to mine!

The Good And Bad Of Yesterday

Yesterday, I sent Simon to school, just like I do every day.  He got on the bus and seemed to be happy about seeing his classmates and teachers.  It’s getting close to the end of the month, so we all knew that a fire drill was on the horizon.  But the last few times there has been a fire drill, despite causing him a great deal of anxiety in anticipation, has gone quite smoothly (he’s still going out earlier then the rest of his class and he has a very detailed procedure that he follows which makes it easier for him to cope with the event).

Sure enough, there was a fire drill early in the day.  And everything seemed to have gone well.  His teacher congratulated him on a job well done and everyone settled in to a relaxing remainder of the month, figuring that the monthly ordeal was over.

The day went reasonably well.  He did his work, didn’t cause too many problems.  His daily report card indicated a very successful day.

But when I went to meet him outside after school to find out if he had earned his Tuesday/Thursday reward of sitting in the front seat for the short drive home, his teacher comes to me wearing a grim look on her face.  She went on to describe Simon’s behavior towards the end of the day…..something that never made it onto his daily report card.

Apparently, he took an allowed bathroom break, and went to the Boys’ Room.  But he decided to not pull up his pants (or his underwear).  He proceeded to walk down the hallway like that and stop in front of the Pre-K classroom.  And he put on a bit of an exhibition (as it was described to me) for the teacher and the young class.

So, Simon is no longer allowed to use the Boys’ Room.  For the rest of the year, when he needs to use the bathroom, he will be escorted to the Health Room and use the bathroom in there.  There are clear rules listed on the back of the door, and he will be expected to follow those rules to the letter.  And the need to do this is clearly a punishment as far as he is concerned.  He is very upset (not about his behavior but) by having to go to the Health Room to use the rest room, something that none of his classmates has to do.

At home, we are also working on eliminating any exhibition behaviors.  We’re trying to make it clear that his body is his own and something that he needs to keep private.  I have no idea if this is going to sink in with this incident, but we can only hope.

I swear……you never know what’s going to happen next around here…..

Only my child…..

…..well, I’m not sure about that….it may be an every child thing…..or a “boy” thing…..or perhaps an “Autism” thing……but there are days where I just can’t understand what goes through Simon’s head and why he does the things he does.

The specific example I’m referring to here is his desire to flush his SOCKS down the toilet.  Now, I really have no PROOF that he’s every done this.  But I have strong suspicions.  And last night, I’m as certain as I can be without being 100% sure.  You see, he was getting ready for bed.  He took off his clothes and put them in the hamper (which is in the hallway outside the kids’ bathroom).  Everything EXCEPT his socks.  I told him to put his socks in the hamper before going to the bathroom, but he insisted that he NEEDED to go, so I let it go and went back to braiding Rachel’s hair for the night.  We heard him do his business and then we heard him flush.  When he came out, he was no longer wearing any socks.  I asked him where they were.  He didn’t answer.  I asked him again.  He said (matter-of-factly), “In the toilet”.

Dad immediately got up and went into the bathroom to try and find them.  They were nowhere to be found.  He checked in the garbage, in the bathtub, in the sink, behind the toilet, inside the toilet lid……NOWHERE.  He checked the hamper, just to be sure that he didn’t stick them in when we weren’t looking (actually dumped the contents).  He then took the plunger and tried to suck it out because we had no choice but to take him at his word.  The toilet flushes fine and nothing came up with the plunger (so we have no PROOF).  Simon got dressed for bed and was sent directly to bed, lights out.  No Pajanimals.  No books (and knowing Simon, that’s a real blow).  Rachel had her story read to her in our room.  Then (for Rachel’s sake since she did nothing wrong), we went through our normal bedtime routine (except Dad didn’t kiss Simon goodnight because he had already gone to bed).

This morning, when Simon woke up, we had a little talk.  I asked him why he put his socks in the toilet.  And, of course, he didn’t answer me.  I asked him if that was the right thing to do.  He answered this time…..”No”.  Was that a naughty choice?  A quiet “yes” from Simon.  Are you EVER going to do it again?  “NO!” exclaimed Simon.

Do I believe him?  Not really.  You see, this is the first time that we are this close to certain that this has happened, but not the first time that we think he’s done this.  A similar pattern has happened before…..just not with the confirmation of the missing socks when we went to search for them.  So, Simon is going to (once again) experience that we don’t trust him in the bathroom at bedtime.  He will either have to take ALL of his clothes off before going into the bathroom, or he’s going to have company.  And we know he likes his “private” time in the bathroom.  And normally, he’s entitled to have that minute or two.  But first he has to re-earn our trust.

Hopefully, this is just a “boy” thing…..or something that he was just trying to see how far he can go…..an experiment of sorts.  And hopefully, he’s learned his lesson.  I have my doubts that this won’t be the end, but I’m hopeful.